I didn’t walk into my marriage with stars in my eyes…
Melissa Nazareth, lived in Bahrain for almost 3 decades before moving to Bombay. In her columns, ‘BAH-BOM-BAH’ (Bahrain-Bombay-Bahrain), she shares her most interesting experiences, hoping to make the world a better place one word at a time.
I was in Bali last month. What a lovely place; unpretentious and welcoming. The people here are so down to earth, and though driven by tourism, the island has a whole lot of nature to enjoy. No one can think of this popular holiday destination without recalling Elizabeth Gilbert’s freakishly successful book-made-into-a-movie ‘Eat Pray Love’. The title explores the author’s journey from a bitter divorce to finding herself to ultimately finding love.
I haven’t lost myself making the transition from miss to missus. Growing as individuals first has helped us grow as a couple.
I happened to read the sequel, ‘Committed’, in which Gilbert talks about how most women (she speaks for the average American woman but I believe her views hold true for the average Indian/Arab woman too) hype marriages and weddings, making them the centre of their lives. Further, she shares her conversations with Laotian women, an elderly lady in particular, which help her realise that a broken marriage or spouse who falls short of expectations are not the end of the world and it’s ridiculous to let these dictate one’s very being.
I tied the knot only a month ago and am glad I read this book before that because it polished my perception toward romantic relationships. I didn’t walk into my marriage with stars in my eyes. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a lovely (and lucky!) man! That said, I haven’t lost myself making the transition from miss to missus. Growing as individuals first has helped us grow as a couple.
We observe International Women’s Day this month. In case we’ve stopped celebrating ourselves as women because of broken relationships, poor jobs, unhappy children, downward spiraling looks… let’s take a step back and breathe. It’s OK. Start afresh today and before you do anything else, love yourself because it’s only when you’re happy that you can make others happy. ν